Memories and Melodies♚

Yes, for anybody who knows me so well they definitely know that I've been had this disease for a long time. Overthinking. I often feel insecure. And when I'm insecure I'll overthink about it. And when I overthink about it, I -almost- always cry. Yes, I know. I'm a crybaby. The worst thing is that the one that always make me overthink is you . Yes, you . I don't know what happened to us. I just feel like there's a barrier between us. I always feel that you're hiding something. I know it's a silly intuition. But that feeling always distract my mind. It kills me slowly. And the way we chat, it always convince me that my intuition was right. Well, I hope that this intuition was wrong. I hope that I can stop overthink anything. I hope that I can live peacefully.

I'm so sad that we're now rarely chat. Even a "good morning" from you every morning nowadays is just as precious as gold. I miss you really really bad. I've never imagine that long distance relationship will be this hard. I miss you, I hope that you also miss me as bad as I feel. Ich vermisse dich.

Hai Yesterday I moved to my "kosan" in Bandung. I don't know for how long I'll be staying here because I still want to take one more test to another university. I feel so bored here. There's no sound of TV here, there's no sound of my sisters. So quite and silent. Besides, I don't know anyone here. I feel so lonely . This is not my first experience being far from home. I have been in Malang before, alone. But this time feels so different. I have to manage myself. I have to clean my room, travel with public transportation, and buy food for breakfast+lunch+dinner. This is way a new world for me. Being alone is okay, but being lonely is not okay. And I feel so lonely right now. I miss home. I miss you , who are so much far away from here. I'm so jealous with people who are in the same university with their close friends-or their boyfriend. I know this sounds so desperate but this is what I feel now. Lonely , so lonely .

Hello Ok this is actually not my first post on my blog, but I've already deleted all of my post on this blog. The reason? Hmm I actually have no certain reason, but I just want to make a "brand new me" since I wrote those posts when I was in junior high and senior high. I want to make this blog more mature and more private (but I still put the link on Facebook and about.me tho). I want to change this blog to a kind of diary (or in our daily language "media untuk bercerita di mana gue bisa ngeluarin unek-unek tanpa ada yang baca-atau mungkin ada yang baca tapi gue gatau-tanpa ada yang ngasih pendapat tentang apa yang gue tulis, apa yang gue rasain"). So, if you are reading this post right now, don't expect something big. This is just a blog about my "celotehan yang tak terungkapkan". Well, yes I am an introvert.